Naturist etiquette: Strange what upsets some people and doesn't bother others at all, but naturist etiquette which prevails worldwide can be summed up in a few words: common sense, courtesy and respect for others.

Laws apart, there are only rules governing naturist activity, and though these may well be placed on notice boards and enforced on naturist sites and beaches they are not really legally enforceable, just a matter of common sense, courtesy and respect for others.

It will soon be that time of year again, you know, the time we Brits all pile into our cars and head off for the naturist beaches of France and Spain. One can almost hear the Yeeeeeeeeeee Hah! as the first Brit disrobes and dashes madly into the freezing cold sea, only to re-appear moments later with shrunken blue appendages. Wait for the sun to warm up first my man!

I believe that even if you are a newbie naturist and don't know the rules of the game but adhere to the above then you won't go far wrong. Naturism is naturism wherever you are but the laws which govern it differ from country to country though we don't go into it that deeply on this page as we are merely concerned with naturist etiquette here.

You have most probably noticed that naturist beaches are very often sited alongside "Textile beaches" - a textile beach for the uninitiated being one where the sun worshippers keep their kit on. Usually, and I say usually but not always, there is a sign in whatever language stating that "This is a naturist beach" in French, Spanish, Urdu or something to that effect. If you don't see a sign like that then it is wise to remain clothed (unless everyone else has taken their kit off of course), and that way you will escape embarrassment. Having said all that, and just to confuse you it is known for naturist and textile beaches to be mixed in some countries, Croatia being one of them we understand - Yep, that one confused us as well!

There are quite a few pages on the Net about the subject of naturist etiquette and from what we see they have all been written by the same person for others to copy. No so here! All our text is unique but nevertheless we cover the same points I suppose. Let's get over the common sense points which all the other sites cover in detail:-

Litter: Well obviously  this appliers anywhere; you either dispose of it in the proper manner or take it away with you. Nobody should have to be told this but unfortunately we have seen (mainly Brits) leaving litter where it drops and really this is not good enough. Adults must supervise their children and educate them in litter disposal.

OK, we'll mention parking, but again, use some sense when you park the car near to the beach.

Naturists are a friendly bunch and more often than not use first names, but it is a good idea to be respectful when first speaking to people you have only just met.

Staring: Please don't stare at people - it seriously disses them off and can embarrass the Hell out of them if they are newbie naturists. We all have a good butchers I know but staring is impolite. Similarly with making rude remarks about others which they may hear - this usually has either of 2 effects: they either take off in a huff or they come over and clobber you, so whisper your rude comments instead. 

Guys this applies to you: Looking at a naked lady and vice versa is normal, ok?  Staring is rude, ok? If you would like to get to know her/him better then try making a smooth approach when he/she is with some other company so you don't frighten the Hell out of her. Hey, I am not your minder but I have been around some and I know exactly what makes other guys tick, but she may not, and as the odds are that there are always going to be weirdos somewhere near to a naturist beach she may think you are one of them, and you wouldn't like that would you?

Other issues apply to naturists either on the beach or on a naturist site such as taking a towel with you to sit on in public areas - an obvious point of etiquette for anyone naked when you think of it. For hygienic reasons, use your own towel when sitting on benches, chairs, pool furniture and other furniture, specially picnic table tops (if you really have to sit on table tops in the first place). Also, don't sit on anyone else's towel or blanket (unless they invite you).

Sex: Sex is lovely, wunnerful even, fantastic sometimes, but there is a place for it and that place is not on a naturist beach, so etiquette demands that naturists have sex in private just as other people do. We all know that sex on the beach does happen, and when it does the lucky couple are often applauded if they are spotted at all, but that isn't the point. The point is that you shouldn't have overt sex in a public place, naturist beach or not. If you get caught the odds are that little or nothing will happen to you, but your activities could well have the beach closed for a time, and it would make you about as popular as a lesbian with long fingernails if it were to happen.

Children: They sometimes like to let off steam and this is no bad thing at all, but children should be supervised by adults so that they don't cause problems for others.

Swimming pool areas: Shower before you go in the pool - don't just jump in and leave a nasty greasy ring where your sun lotion has come off in the water. No clothes to be worn in swimming pools - what's the point anyway. PLEASE don't P in the pool! Yuk!

Cameras etc: You may well find on the whole naturists don't like to be photographed or be in someone's video if they are unaware they are being photographed. Ask first - and beware of taking photos of children as that can lead to a visit to A&E. Binoculars, binos are normally unwelcome on naturist beaches, so if you must take them with you make sure you are standing in the surf looking out to sea, or something like that.

Don't go naked where nakedness isn't allowed - you are asking for trouble big style if you do that.

Clothing: Strangely enough naturist etiquette usually requires you to wear clothes when attending evening functions.

FYI: Many nude beaches are remote and do not have the amenities offered at many textile beaches, so go prepared and take whatever you need with you: drinks, food, sunscreen, towels etc because it could be a long walk if you forget something important.

Radios etc:  Naturist beaches are peaceful places, so be considerate about playing loud  music or radios. Use earphones  if possible, and if asked to 'turn it down', do so willingly (otherwise the offending radio could end up way out to sea).